Good News

My agency is saying that as long as you are LID before May 1, 2007 the new rules don’t apply to you. I don’t trust them 100%, but it seems that everybody’s agencies are telling them the same thing. So this is very good news. I’m getting Emily!! YAY!  My agency also said I could get my referral as early as April.  I think that is a bit optimistic, because the numbers just don’t come out to that. But I know that what my agency is saying is the wait right now is 16 months and if I were to wait 16 months then that would be April. I believe that I will end up waiting 18 months. So….that’s where we differ.  Anyways, the good news is that they see no reason why I wouldn’t get Emily, so that makes me breathe a big sigh of relief.

 

Now: on to re-doing all of my paperwork which will expire in Feb. I go to be re-fingerprinted next week (joy) and I called today to make an appointment to have my home study updated. That’s another $550.  PLUS I found out that it’s not just updating my home study, but I have to do a NEW I-600A, which is the petition to adopt a child from a foreign country. That’s ALSO about $500.00.  I thought, mistakenly, that I just had to update my home study, and that would automatically update my petition to adopt. Because I mean, why else would you update your home study? But NO. Apparently you have to do them both.   So officially as of today, I am PAPER CHASING AGAIN.

 

I feel nauseous.  Every single piece of paper that I collected before, has to be collected again. My birth certificate. A new medical report from my doctor. (yes, I have to go back to the doctor!) A new financial statement and it looks like 3 new letters of recommendations. Ugh. That can’t be right, can it? I thought this was an “update” not a “re-do” !!!

 

This adoption is kicking my butt the last few weeks. At the least, it gives me something to do the next couple months. Always a silver lining, right?   And I know it will be worth it in the end. Way worth it. I see my friends with their kids and they are so fun and so cute, and I get excited that it will be me with a kid next year. YAY!

 

 

 

Merry Christmas

So I’m a little late. I still wish you all a Merry Christmas!!  I had a wonderful weekend with my family. Details (and photos) coming soon.

Stay tuned!

 

 

The Kindness of Strangers

Y’all are so sweet. I don’t even know (in real life)  some of the folks who leave me comments, and I know that there are many other people who just read along. But just seeing a few comments and knowing that 1) I’m not alone in this and 2) people really DO care it just makes everything seem a little brighter.

 

I have decided to just go with it. I can’t change anything regardless. So I can either worry myself sick, or I can put it out of my mind until it is a reality one way or the other. I’m going with the later. At least for today. Well, at least for right now today!  The oddest thing about this adoption is that I’ve realized I can feel 100 different things in one day about the same situation. Who knew I was this complex! Ha ha ha 

 

Anyways, thanks to all of you guys and I add in my prayers to yours, not just for me, but for all of us in this pickle!

 

New Rules at CCAA

I’ve been avoiding writing this post for a few days. But now that the whole world can read THIS on the internet and just about every newspaper around the globe, there is no point in not talking about it. China has changed its rules for adoptions. They will no longer take applications from people after May 1 who are single, obese, over 50, or have a variety of medical problems they consider unacceptable.   I heard from my agency this morning. They reiterate that the new rules will only affect NEW applicants after May 1, 2007.  However, they said that if any of the new rules would affect me that I should be prepared for delays.  They also state that the rules they have are just drafts and that any of them could change or upon clarification take on a different meaning.  My fear is that if you haven’t gotten a referral by May 1, (which I won’t) then if the matchers have to pick between me and a couple, they would pick the couple. Since there are literally thousands of couples who have already applied, I would be “delayed” indefinitely, thus while China could say delayed, the reality would be denied. I don’t know this. It is just my fear that this is what would happen. Since we have no clarification yet, then I’m left with the best guesses of my agency and my own gut responses.

 

China certainly has the right to decide who is and isn’t acceptable to adopt their children. They want these kids to have the best life possible. I get that. I want that too. It breaks my heart to think of rows and rows of babies in cribs who have no one to love them and give them hugs and kisses and rock them to sleep.  I think I would be pretty good at all that stuff, even if I am single. But, it is their program, and their rules, and I have to play along with them.

 

To say that I am distraught about all this would be an understatement. I haven’t really slept in days, and tears have been shed on more than one occasion. The uncertainty of how this may affect me is just about to kill me. I KNOW that I signed up for a great deal of uncertainty when I decided to adopt internationally. I accepted that I would never ever know about Emily’s biological family or the circumstances that surrounded her abandonment. I knew that I would never know when she was being born, or how old she would be when I got her. I have learned to live with the wait going from 6 months to 18 months in the last year. But this just might be the straw that breaks my back. To not know now IF I will get her, it’s killing me. That this is even up for debate makes me feel nauseous.  I am upset, and frankly, I feel like I deserve to be upset.

 

I also realize that I may be over-reacting. But it is hard not to, when everything seems clouded in mystery. I told a friend that at this point the only thing that would cheer me up is a personal email from China saying “you SHANNON will get a baby”  I’m not holding my breath for that to happen, it’s just how I feel right now.  I’m hoping that my putting out there my very worst fear, then I can get over and get back to perky, happy, expectant for Emily, me.  I’m looking forward to this weekend. Christmas and time with the people I love will certainly occupy my mind a great deal, and help me to not dwell on worst possible outcomes.  Wish me luck!  

 

 

Grad School

 

A few weeks ago I went to an information seminar on going to graduate school to get my MBA. I’ve tossed around the idea of getting this for a few years, but it never seemed like the right time, or paying for it was a factor. But I finally went to a seminar and decided to go for it. I found out this morning that I was accepted at a program at a university here in Charlotte. YAY ME!  So, starting in January, I’ll be taking classes toward an MBA.  Work will pay for part of it, so that made the decision a lot easier.  I’m on the 4 year plan, since I’ll probably only be able to handle one class a semester (there are 3 semesters a year at this school) but if all goes well, in 2011, I’ll have my MBA. Not entirely sure what I’ll do with it once I get it, but I can worry about that later!

I’m pretty excited about this new adventure. I’m sure there will be days when I hate it, but hopefully it will be worth it at the end. And while I’m waiting for Emily to finally come home, it will give me something to focus on. (other than rumors!)  I should be able to get 2 classes done next year, depending on when I go to China. And a lot of my classes can be done on line, so there shouldn’t be too much of an issue with needing a sitter or whatever to get to class. And if I do end up needing someone to watch Em while I’m in class or studying, then I will just work that out. It’s only one night a week, so I think I can swing it.  Wish me luck!

 

 

 

Angelina Speaking Up

This morning on Good Morning America Angelina Jolie was interviewed (with Matt Damon) about some movie they are in together. I didn’t care about the movie so much as when Diane asked her about her family and why she adopted.  This is from the interview.

 

 

She adopted a child from Cambodia and another from Ethiopia. Many have wondered, though, why she hasn't adopted a needy American child?

"Well, I don't see borders in the world," Jolie said. "I mean I work with programs here for all children."

But Jolie says when she has adopted in the past, she has based her decisions on her emotions.

"Well, to be honest, it's just been, I've been led by something emotional," Jolie said. "So it's not a decision of — like a catalog of [where I say} I want this kind of child. It's just been … I've been moved by the countries."

 

 

Good for her! I’m so tired and disgusted with people who ask “why don’t you get an American baby?” like by choosing to go to China I’m somehow spitting on Americans, or American children. It ticks me off. Adopting is such a personal decision and so many factors were involved, that there is no real way to quantify why I chose China. And at the end of it all, I really feel like I was pulled there, for a reason, that my specific child is waiting in China for me. It doesn’t mean that I won’t ever feel a pull to adopt an “American” baby, or that I won’t ever have a bio child of my own. It just means that right now, for this child, I have to go to China. Every single cell in my body tells me that’s where she is. I’m not going to leave her there for heaven’s sake!  It’s like people in the armed forces. Never leave a man behind! People who are just watching me adopt have a hard time grasping this concept. I don’t really understand why it is so difficult for them to get a handle on this part of it. I guess I’m just opperating from a different place than they are. I KNOW that MY baby is in China. They just think that I want to adopt any old kid and I’m being ridiculous doing all this work to go to China when I can get an American child faster. And while I know getting an American child is just as difficult as getting a child from China, if not more so, I’m not sure that the general public knows that. The comments I get sometime make it sound like I could pop in an orphanage here, pick on the one I want and go home with him/her. Like getting a puppy at the humane society.  Does the general public really believe that? Is the perception that American children are somehow better, or cleaner, or smarter or more easy to love?  I don’t know. I certainly never thought that before I started this mess. I never thought much about it one way or the other, to be honest. Maybe it is just a gut patriotic reaction. Like hey, this is a great country! Why don’t you get a great country’s kid!?!   What’s wrong with you!   Or maybe now that it is affecting me, I’m just more aware. Or maybe I’m not giving my fellow Americans enough a chance.  Maybe people are really just curious.  But frankly, I think that if the chick from GMA is asking this, she is speaking for a LOT of people. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  We’re all immigrants here. What difference should it make when we immigrated? Or from where?  

 

I’m now going to step off my soap box. Unfortunately, instead of just ranting and then feeling better, I now feel more confused about people in general.

I just want Emily to come home. She’ll BE American at the end of everything. Won’t that be enough?

 

 

  

Homeland Security

The check I wrote to Homeland Security to be re-fingerprinted finally cleared my account today. It’s been about 2 weeks since I mailed it in and I was starting to get worried that they lost my request or I accidentally sent it to the wrong address or something. So that’s one more adoption step checked off. CHECK!

 

 

 

 

Spamalot

Tony took me to see Spamalot as an early birthday present last week. It was such fun! I laughed until I had tears streaming down my face!! If you are a Monty Python fan, you must, MUST see this show. If you aren't, it is still hysterical. We had a really good time. This is us all dolled up before we left. Isn't he a cutie?

My nephew with his bear. So sweet.




On his rocking horse, going to town!

Colin loves Santa Claus!

All set for Christmas at my sister's house!




Me & my sister at her Christmas Cookie Exchange

Pictures Worth 1000 Words

Photos of some things I've been up to lately, but have been to slack to properly blog about:



Wake Forest Football and Tailgating. GO DEACS!!

1 Year LID

 

Today is my One Year LID Anniversary. YAY!  I made it a whole 12 months!! Only 6 to 8 months left to go. Which oddly enough is what they told me when I was first LID. Weird, huh? 

 

For those of you that are not adoption junkies, LID is when you paperwork is Logged In.  So technically, you have two anniversaries. You have the date your paperwork WENT to China, or DTC and then you have the date that you paperwork was Logged in to their computer system, or LID.  LID is the more important one to keep up with, since that is how you can tell where you are “in line” to be matched.  They didn’t used to tell people the LID, but they just started a few years ago. Some of my single friends that already have children home with them always look baffled when I say LID, because it was just DTC back then. 

 

Anyways, I made it 12 whole months. I’m very proud of myself.  It has been a hard wait. A LONG wait. But all in all, I think I did pretty well. (so far) I haven’t made myself bald, or grey. Well then again, I have no idea what my natural hair color is anymore. But I’m GUESSING it’s not grey!  I haven’t killed anyone, and trust me, that was touch and go for awhile. Hee hee  And I’m feeling very optimistic these days. Emily is coming home in a few months! I mean really, 6 to 8 months is not that long. It’s like a normal person gets when they find out they’re pregnant. I have a TON to do!  I finally feel like it’s not just something I’m talking about will happen “one day”. I feel like it’s happening now. It is a good feeling, and I’m excited about it.

 

So Happy Friday to everyone.

 

 

 

 

Good Luck!

Help me wish good luck and safe travels to two pals of mine who are leaving for China this week to bring home their daughters! Congrats to Caroline and to Lisa & Eammon!  I hope you guys have a safe trip and a great time while you are in China. I can’t wait to see the pictures! What a super Christmas for all of you.