well crud

I totally forgot this morning that I was going to do a bloggy photo day with Shannon & peeps until right this second, and it’s already 9. I’m at work and camera-less. Soooo I will have to try and remember tomorrow.  I even pulled out my camera last night so I would remember. DUH!  

 

 

Super Groovy!

FINALLY some good news about waiting this long to get my referral. I have finally achieved enough frequent flier miles to get one free round trip ticket in the US. WOO HOO.  When I first started thinking about adoption back in the fall of 2004 (yes, it’s been that long) I opened up a new debit card that earns me frequent flier miles with everyday purchases.  It’s really easy, since I use that darn card for nearly every purchase, it worked out really well. And plus, on things like buying airline tickets you get the double miles, miles for the flight, and the miles for paying with your debit card.  And I finally FINALLY have achieved the coveted 25,000 mile mark or 1 FREE ticket.  YAY me!  Only took about 2.5 years, but what the heck. Luckily, I had that much time to wait. Now I know, that a lot of times you don’t get a lot of notice to use your frequent flier miles, once you get that TA it’s GO, GO, GO!!   But I am hoping that 1) I get 2 weeks to make advanced purchase of tickets and 2) I don’t have to travel over the holidays, which are usually blocked out from frequent flier programs.  But even if that is the case, and I can’t use them for this trip, it is one free trip I can take at a later date, and that is pretty cool with me.

 

For kicks I looked up how many FF miles you needed to go roundtrip to China. That’d be 90,000.  So, ya, that’s out.  I’d have to wait like another 6 years for that to happen, and I really don’t want to wait that long. But for all you folks who are newly DTC or LID, I would definitely recommend signing up your debit card for the FF miles.  Gives you a goal, and let’s face it, you peeps will be waiting like 3 years or more. YOU might get to go to China for free if you start planning now!! HA HA HA

 

 

Breaking Up is Hard To Do

It is MUCH harder to stop stalking RQ then I had planned on.  I’m doing way better, but still, twice a day was a bit optimistic.  I’m trying to keep it to 4 times a day. Maybe next week I can wean myself down to 3 and so on.

 

I’m so optimistic about my self control abilities. HA HA HA

 

 

 

 

Monday, Monday (la, la, la la la)

I am determined to have a better week this week than last. To that end, I’ve decided to stop stalking the RQ.  By that I mean, I’m going to attempt to look at it only twice a day, morning and evening, rather than every single hour all day long.  Of course, this is the perfect time to stop stalking it, because referrals just came out and pretty much no really exciting news will hit for at least 3 more weeks. HA HA HA.   Yes, I’m rigging the results. But I figure if I can stop stalking now, during the down time, I will have trained myself to stop when it gets to be almost referral time.  Wish me luck.

 

All in all, so far today has been way better than last week. So I think I’m off to a good start.

 

 

 

 

18 Months LID

I forgot to mention earlier that today is my official 18 Month LID.

 

I remember last March maybe, I went out to dinner with my friend Jody who had just moved to town.  I started getting choked up at dinner because the rumors that week had been saying the wait could get as long as 18 months and that just felt like forever to me.  I remember her telling me, it’s ok, it probably won’t take that long, hang in there.  (Jody is such a nice girl.)  She really cheered me up that day.  Man. How sad is it that 18 months sounds not only NORMAL to me, but almost short? Sheesh…

 

Anyways, back to my positive state of affairs. It’s Friday! It’s Friday! Do the happy Friday Dance!!

 

 

 

WOO HOO!!

Woo HOO! It’s Friday! I made it to another Friday!! Y’all just wouldn’t believe how long this week has been for me. But I survived it and I’m so super glad.  On tap for this weekend:  tonight Tony & I are going out with pals Jeff & Jill to see Ocean's 13  Nothing too deep, but all those pretty men to look at for 2 hours will certainly lighten my mood!!  Tomorrow, maybe go to the pool, but definitely going to Kohl’s to shop. I need some shorts that like, fit.  Waiting this long has unfortunately increased my weight. Ugh. However, shopping for new clothes almost always puts me in a better mood, so that is the silver lining in that cloud.    Also hope to spend some time with the other Shannon.  So, it should be a fun, relaxing weekend. At least, that’s my goal.

 

Happy Friday to all of y’all!!

 

 

 

Getting Over Myself

I’m really trying today to get back into my positive frame of mind regarding the adoption. It ain’t easy.  I went back and looked at some of my posts, and it seems like I really thought they would only get to the 9^th or 10^th this go round anyway, so really they only shorted my expectations by a few days. That isn’t too bad. It’s not like I thought they would get through the 25^th this time or anything anyway.   So, I’m trying to get some perspective here.  Oh, and I had a total meltdown last night and now that that is out of my system, I actually feel a lot better.

 

Now, on to next month’s referrals!!    I’ve decided to start making predictions “officially” on my blog, so that when actual referrals come out, I can keep myself in check with what my expectations were. Ha ha ha  So here goes:

 

July     Nov 8-11

Aug     Nov 12-20

Sep    Nov 21-24

Oct    Nov 25- Dec 4

Nov   Dec 5 -9

 

As you can see, I kept my expectations REALLY low. This way, I can only be encouraged by reality!! Nothing like a little self delusion to boost your morale, right?

 

I think I’m done moping. Well…maybe not DONE, done, but the majority of it is over with, for this month anyways.

And I think that’s the best I’m going to get right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I an Idiot?

I’m starting to feel like a real moron over here. Here I am, waiting for my adoption after 18 MONTHS of being LID. That’s not to mention the 8 months or so I paper-chased, and the 5 months before that where I waited for a single’s slot.  So really, I’ve been wanting to adopt for about 3 years.  I distinctly remember going to visit my friend Sara in June 2004 and bringing a book on international adoption with me to read. I devoured that book on the plane rides there and back, and basically made up my mind right then and there. In Oct/Nov of that year I started putting my name on lists at agencies.  Three YEARS is a very, very long time. Now I know, I know, other people have waited that long or longer. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about me.

 

But now, I’m just starting to feel ridiculous. Every time people ask me “how’s the adoption going?”  I just groan. Every freaking month it gets pushed back another 2 months. Do you realize that I’ve been telling people 6 or 7 months from now for like the last 8 months? That is insane.  I’m fed up with this nonsense. How f—ing difficult would it be for China to make some honest predictions and just TELL people?? They know! You know they know! I don’t care about cultural differences anymore. I just want to know what the heck is going on. Because for all I know, I’ll wait another 6 months and then they’ll change their minds altogether and stop adoptions.

 

I’m so sad. Sooo sooo sad. The last few months have not bothered me nearly as much as this month has. I don’t know why this month is different. But it is. I want her home already. Or I want to know, hey your next. Or you’re the one after this one.  As it is, I have no clue. And man I feel stupid for waiting in a line that never gets smaller!

 

I’m sure everything happens for a reason. yadda yadda yadda. If any of you crazy Christian types start telling me about God’s plan I swear I will find a way to put a curse on you. I don’t CARE anymore about God’s plan. I want my baby. I have done everything that was asked of me. I’ve waited. Now give me my daughter and go away. 

 

Off to mope some more…

*sigh*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rumors

I should stop looking at the rumors about cut-off dates and referral deliveries. I like seeing the babies, but the week or so before they come, with all the rumors about how far they are going to get (or not get) is unbelievably nerve wracking.   The CCAA matched through Nov 1, 2005 last time.  Earlier this month there were rumors that they were going to match from Nov 2 to the 16^th or 21^st.  I thought, well that’s just crazy. They will never ever match that far.  And NOW the rumors are that they matched through Nov 7.  6 stinking days.

 

It makes me insane how the rumors are all over the place.  And how every month I have to settle for them matching less than a week’s worth of LID dates.  I mean, really. If this 7^th date turns out to be true, that is 6 days, and 2 of them are weekend days.  I know sometimes some CCAA folks work on the weekends, but they aren’t full on whole days. So really, it’s only 4 days or 5 if you are being optimistic.   COME ON! Are you kidding me? At this rate, I seriously, seriously think it is possible that I won’t get a referral until Nov of this year and travel in 2008. THAT IS RIDICULOUS.   2008!?!?!   I was supposed to get a referral in May/June of 2006. Then it was Nov-Jan 07. Then it was June/July 07. Now it’s maybe Nov/Dec 2007?  And travel in 2008. It is killing me to even write this down. How many times do I have to re-adjust my thinking?  It isn’t right to do this to people.

 

And I hate that we always hear this stuff on a Monday. What a horrible way to start a week.  I want to go back to my Friday post. Put my feet up and be a bum again. 

 

 

Hey…it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too.

Pass the Kleenex. 

 

 

 

Happy Friday

YAY it’s Friday!!   I’m so excited to be able to sleep in tomorrow. This week has been so unbelievably long. Do you ever have weeks like that? Where it just drags on forever and ever? I swear, there were at least 3 Mondays in this last week. But now, it is almost over and time to go home, put my feet up and be a bum. At least for a little while!!