Adoption Questions

Let me start by saying that I believe in my heart of hearts that most people are morons. I don’t think they WANT to be morons, or that they REALIZE they are morons, but there it is. People are dumb. Not everyone on the planet is an idiot, it’s just most of us have idiot moments on a fairly regular basis. I don’t know why God made so many stupid people, but she sure did. I will ask her about it when I get to heaven. In the meantime, I’m stuck down here with these dolts, trying my best not to kill anyone.

 

I was chatting with my mom awhile ago, and we were talking about the stupid questions people ask me (or her) about my adoption. I knew when I started that people would say remarkably thoughtless things to me, but I have to admit that it is shocking that they would say them to other family members as well. Especially when I’m not around to give the answer and they are grilling my poor mom like they are Spanish Inquisitors.

 

Stupid Adoption Question 1

 

Why doesn’t she have an American baby?    Why do you care people? Do you only have a fondness for American children? Are white babies somehow “better” babies?  For the record, Emily will BE an American baby as soon as we land. In every aspect she will be an American citizen. She’ll have a SS#, be able to vote, pay taxes, complain about the president. You name it, and she’ll get to do it.  Why I chose China is a very personal question. For me, it was because I KNEW that MY child was going to be born in China. It doesn’t mean I don’t like America.  Maybe, one day, I’ll feel a calling to adopt a child from here. But for now, I’m going with my gut, and my gut says China.

 

Stupid Adoption Question 2

Why don’t you have your OWN baby?  Or to add a variation to a theme, now that you are dating someone why don’t you stop adopting and just have your own baby?

People, people, people.  Can you all be so stupid as to think that Emily will not be my OWN baby?  In what way will she be my PRETEND child? My Fake daughter?  This question and all of its many forms irritates me like no other. Giving birth doesn’t make you a parent. Being there, day in, and day out all the time 24/7 for life makes you a parent.  Furthermore, I didn’t chose to adopt because it was “something to do until I met someone”  I put a lot of thought and energy and research into adopting. It is not a whim!  If you are going to be idiot enough to ask me this question, then I expect you to have the courtesy to sit around and let me go on and on about all of my decisions to adopt and how YOU and your idiot self were not a factor in this decision.

 

Stupid Adoption Question 3

So, like, what’s wrong with you? As in, why can’t you have your own children?

Nothing is wrong with me nor is my reproductive health up as a topic of conversation.  Even my doctor questioned why I would CHOOSE adoption.  He assumed I must be depressed since I was “having to adopt”. Ahhhhhhh no, dumbass. I CHOSE this. I picked it on purpose.  And the decision did not “depress” me.  In fact, I find the whole thing really exciting and life affirming!! Adoption should not be considered a second choice by anyone, for anyone.  Even folks who do have reproductive issues seldom want to discuss them with YOU.

 

Stupid Adoption Question 4

What is taking so long? Or what did you do wrong that it taking so long? OR my personal fave, your agency lied, stole, robbed, cheated you if it is taking this long!

International adoption at best is a long, complicated process. One reason I picked China is that it (in general) has a very stable, reliable program. You do X, Y and Z, you wait your turn, you get a baby. Lately, the waiting your turn part has gotten a little long. But let’s remember that when I started this the wait was 6 to 8 months. It’s now stretched out to 18 months and growing. There are many, many reasons for this. It is NOT because I am not qualified, or was turned down. My agency has not cheated me, or lied to me about the wait. The extended wait is as unexpected to them as it is to me and they’ve been doing adoptions from China for over 12 years.  Sometimes, things change. China has determined that only 12 to 13,000 children a year may be adopted by foreigners. There are roughly 600,000 children in orphanages in China right now (given best estimates by people that would know). On the other hand, some 25,000 people have applied to adopt a child as a foreigner.  You do the math.  I’m guessing that there are probably 3000 to 5000 people in line in front of me right now. So if they do 1100 matches a month, (and I think that is being optimistic by the way) I would get a referral in Sep/Oct.  If things stay exactly the same for the next few months, than I should have a referral in the early fall and travel a month or so after that. If they decide to give out less babies, my wait gets longer. It certainly is not up to me how long the wait takes. I seriously think when all is said and done I’ll be looking at almost 2 years from LID to pick up. What can you do?

 

I guess I have ranted and raved enough for now.  We are on the brim of referral time. It looks like it will be another short day batch. *sigh*  Maybe that’s why I’m so touchy these days!! Or maybe it’s just that I’ve had it up to HERE with people and their stupid questions. I swear, if one more person asks if my infant child will speak Chinese I’m gonna start swinging!!!  Ugh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reunion Weekend

OK OK...I know I'm late posting this. But i've had a busy week (really!!)
So without further ado, pictures from my reunion!




The dorm room I stayed in Sat night. Looks pretty much exactly the same as it did when I lived there. Even down to the burlap wall paper. SCARY!





Meredith is so pretty




Some of the girls from my class. Most of them I remembered, but I'll be honest, I didn't remember everyone (not even close!!)


Me & Heather...aka Frenchie. (she was a French major, and I was a Spanish) Heather is still a good friend, and I introduced her to her husband! We stayed up telling stories and laughing much of the night. It was so nice to see her and everyone and catch up.
Go Meredith Angels!

Riot in China

I guess I’m a weirdo, but I kind of have always wondered in the back of my mind why this doesn’t happen more often.  I always reasoned that the government had the weapons, so therefore, no one wanted to be on the receiving end of that. (Made sense to me)  Or maybe, I’ve just lived in America all my life and I know that we can protest without being arrested (or killed) so I take it for granted.  I shouldn’t do that. Freedom is a hard won gift, and I respect that and the people who fought to give it to me.

 

Anyways, it was interesting to read this on BBC news today. Go, read it. You know you want to!!

 

 

 

 

The Week In Review

I’ve had a busy week. So here is the sum up:

 

• Mother’s Day I spent with my Momma. I was told to come home to adore her, and home I went.  T came too, and so did my sister and BIL and my favorite nephew Colin. We ended up having a fun cookout with some lifelong family friends. It was great. I love you Mom. You are the BEST!
• To brag on my nephew, he can count to 10 (and he only leaves out a few of the numbers!) and he is learning his colors. He is particularly fond of blue and green. He can’t say blue without going BALUUUUUUUUUUUU.  Which I find hysterical. And best of all, he calls me Shan-Shan now, which I have to say totally TOTALLY rocks!
• We did a walk though of the new house last week. It was fun. We are getting really excited. Plus, I will now be the owner of a glass top stove, which I have always wanted. T thinks this might encourage me to learn to cook. He’s wrong.
• Tomorrow I’m going to my 10^th college reunion. I’m pretty excited. I’ve only been to campus 2 or 3 times since graduation and it is a beautiful campus, especially this time of year. A group of friends are all going to go, so it should be a fun girl’s weekend. Pictures will be posted come Monday.
• My sister isn’t feeling well. Without going into details, I just ask that everyone keep her in their thoughts and send positive vibes her way.  Get well soon Sis!
• Rumors on the adoption front predict the next batch of referrals will cover 16 -20 days. I ain’t holding my breath, but man it would be so nice to be wrong!!

 

That’s all for now. Hope all of y’all are well. Happy Friday!!

 

 

 

 

 

HI JILL

Everyone say Hi to Jill.  She stalks my blog every day. Hi JILL!!! 

 

(man is she going to kill me!!)

 

 

 

 

Stupid People Suck

I had a company call me this morning and ask me, among other things, for my contact telephone number.  Ah HELLO. You called ME dumbass!  You called a number, and I answered. I think you got the number.  

 

I guess you can’t fix stupid. But, come on.  I’ve had people in the past email me before to ask for my email address (at an old job, true story)    I don’t know why things like that bother me so much, but they just irate the heck out of me.  Tell me about your run in with stupid people. Then we can make fun of them together!! Heh heh

 

 

17 Months

Yesterday made 17 months since I was LID.  17 months. Wow!  I never in a million years thought I would wait this long and STILL be waiting.  I’m thinking that given that they are through Nov 1, I’ll probably get a referral in 4 or 5 more months. So Sept or October. This would mean that I will wait 21 or 22 months from LID to referral, and possibly 23-24 months from LID to meet Emily day. I can’t wrap my head around that. I mean, 2 years? That’s a long darn time, especially considering they told me it would be 6 to 8 months.  I didn’t do anything special to mark my LID anniversary. I mean, I’ve had so many of them now, it’s kind of like, why bother?  I am going to go to Target tonight, so maybe something will jump out at me saying BUY ME SHANNON! BUY ME NOW!!   Then again, that happens almost every time I go to Target!!  I love that place. I really should just have part of my paycheck deposited right to them. It would be so much easier!

Prom 2007

So last night, Tony and I went to the Prom. I can hear all of you going, what are you talking about Shannon? Well I'll tell you. A radio station in town does a Second Chance Prom for charity once a year. It's for grown ups (over 21) and they have a DJ and a bar and it's at a hotel with a dance floor and everything. It was GREAT! We had the best time! First, we got to get all dressed up, which, as a girl I love. Then we went to dinner with Susan and Will and had some margaritas and then we went and boogied the night away. It was soo fun, and it was for a good cause. So without further ado, here are pics from the night ( I know you are all dying to see me in a Prom dress!)



Me & Tony at dinner.




Susan & Will




All dressed up!




Me & Susan, after a few adult beverages!! LOL man we had fun!



Aren't they cute?

I don't have good pictures, but I have to tell y'all how suprised I was to see quite a few folks dressed up like, well, like pimps. They had on the pin stripe shirts, the white suits, and fedoras. Here is one pic, but...you can't see too well. But trust me, they were everywhere. And lots of the girls had on full out "prom" dresses. Satin and sparkly, cut down to here, bridesmaidish prom dresses. I can't wait for next year!! I'm getting a better camera for my trip to China, and next year, you will definitely have to tune in for those outfits!!



All in all, we had a great time. I would go again in a heartbeat.

Referrals Through Nov 1, 2005

It’s official, CCAA has sent out referrals this week through Nov 1, 2005.   I’m a little bummed that they only did 6 days (two of which were a Saturday & Sunday)  but it’s an improvement over last month. Also, I am thrilled that they got into November. Mostly because I can say, they are just one month ahead of me!!  I realize it will probably take 3 to 5 more months for me to get a referral, but still, it is satisfying for them to be in November.  I really have no idea how to predict what CCAA is going to do next as far as how many referral days they will do. It just seems a little all over the place right now.  I’m just kind of wait and see right now.

 

The good news is that there are only 37 days of LIDs left in front of me. WOO HOO!!  We are getting there!! 

 

 

Isn't He Dreamy?

Tony got me these today. Just because.

Isn't he the dreamiest????



(yes, Erin, I know I'm a dork)