DONE

I’m officially done waiting. I can’t take it anymore! I want my Emily and I want her now!

 

NOW! NOW! NOW!!!

 

I’m so tired and cranky! This constitutes cruel and unusual punnishment. I’m DONE. Do you hear me China?! I’m DONE! Give me my kid!

 

Please?  Pretty please with sugar on top?

 

Can't Focus

I’m not sure what is going on with me these days. I’m completely unable to focus on my job anymore. All I do is think about this adoption, and all the stuff I have to do or am doing to get ready for this having a baby thing. It isn’t like me at all. Normally, I’m very into my job and very motivated and enjoy what I’m doing. Not anymore. At least, not recently. I feel like I’m in a brain fog that I can’t escape.  How can I think about work, when I need to think about cleaning out closets and buying a crib and paying for a trip to China?!? Does everyone go through this? I’m hoping yes. And I’m also hoping that it will go away/work itself out in a few days because it is stressful to think about this stuff all the time. Not crazy stressful, but it IS there. I’m wondering if this is coming up since I took so much time sort of “off” from the adoption. I just took a mental break last fall, and now, it’s like WHAM!  Maybe I just need to take another break. After all I have 5 or 6 more months of waiting to go.  

 

Anyone else out there like me? (please say yes, please say yes!)

 

Home Makeover Weekend!

My favorite brother in law came to visit this weekend. Kevin is a super handy man. He just loves to paint and hammer and hang up new things. It is a very nice bonus to have him in our family. This weekend he and my sister came to help me do some things around the house I couldn't tackle by myself. (I'm pretty useless at home repairs/improvements) Anyways, Kevin swept in with his toolbox and went to town. Here are some of the things he helped me out with!

New blinds over my sliding glass door
New ceiling fan in the living room
New light fixture in Emily's bathroom
New shades & curtain rod in Emily's room!
New runner down my stairs.

Kevin was a GODSEND! He totally helped me out with stuff and this weekend was a lot of fun too! Here are some photos...mostly of after shots, Kevin was so quick he had halfway finished stuff before I could whip my camera out for a finished photo!

New light fixture, and new mirror in Emily's bathroom. I'll have to paint around the new light fixture still, but one thing I CAN do is paint. (thank goodness, I'm good for something!)

Kevin & Tony hang new Roman shades in Emily's room.

Kevin & Erin hang the new curtain rod.

Em's new curtains!

The finished look. (until we get a crib!)

Books I've Gotten for Me

First off, thanks for the suggestions on children’s books for Emily. I’ve added a few more titles to my wish list now!  Also, thanks for all your concern about my near accident yesterday. I was pretty shook up most of the day, but I’m fine now.

 

Now, on to more books. These are books I’ve bought for myself over the past few years that are either about adoption or about China. Some of them were better than others.  I don’t have a lot of time to do a write up of each one, so I just made a short note. If you want more details on a certain book, please let me know and I’ll send you an email!  Also, I’m still open for suggestions, so if there are any that I’m missing that I’ve just GOT TO HAVE, ya’ll be sure to let me know! I am a book junkie, I have literally piles of books in my house. I have 3 bookcases crammed full and that just isn’t enough room, so I have spillage in piles. Sad, sad state of affairs. I just love to read. Blame it all on my Dad, a fellow book junkie!

 

 

The International Adoption Handbook: How to Make Foreign Adoption Work for You
by Myra Alperson    Ok…but written in 1996, so kind of outdated

 

Chu Ju's House
by Gloria Whelan    really good, written for middle schoolers, but it was still very interesting.

 

The Lost Daughters of China
by Karin Evans   Excellent. (but also sad)

 

Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son: Abandonment, Adoption, and Orphanage Care in China
by Kay Ann Johnson (Author)   BORING. Man, I WANT to read this book, I just can’t get into it. Too much statistical info for me.

 

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents
by Deborah D. Gray (Author)   BORING.  And totally not living up to the hype

 

 

Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections
by Jean MacLeod (Editor),   Super, Great, wonderful, can NOT say enough positive things about this one.

 

Why I Chose You
by Gregory E. Lang      Actually makes a fabulous gift. Really sweet.

 

 

Adopting a Daughter from China
by Denise Harris Hoppenhauer    Just got this. Looks….ok. It would have been great to have this about 12 months ago. Not so good now that I’m this far along.

 

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel
by Lisa See     Awesome fictional novel. Couldn’t put it down!

 

The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices
by Xinran Xue    EXCELLENT!  I highly recommend this to anyone, adopting or not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scary

 

It is very cold here this morning. About 21 F. Now I realize that those of you that live in the New England area, 21 feels pretty balmy. But for us here in the South, it is COLD.  I was driving to work this morning and I slid on some black ice. The weird thing is that it is dry as heck here. We don’t have snow or ice on the ground and it hasn’t rained in a few days! So it took me completely by surprise. I was pulling up to a stoplight and I hit the brakes and nothing happened. Nothing. And I realized that I was going to crash right into the racing truck in front of me. (it was a truck that was for some racing team, that’s what I mean. There was probably a car inside of it)  And in a few seconds, I realized I wasn’t able to stop and I was going to crash right into the giant race truck and it would hurt. So I yanked my wheel to the right and pulled into the lane next to me, just missing that truck by inches, and I had no idea at all if there was anyone in that lane, or coming down that lane. There wasn’t, thank God. But it was absolutely a terrifying moment.  It scared the bejeezus out of me, so I pulled into a parking lot and sobbed. All that adrenaline, and just being completely out of control of the car. It was horrible. Apparently there was some run off on the road from a sprinkler system, and that is what caused the ice. I didn’t see that until later, unfortunately.

So now, I’m at work and I’m sitting here VERY glad that both me and my car are in one piece this morning!

 

 

Tony and I had a nice Valentine’s. He made me dinner, and bought me chocolates and a giant stuffed rhino. So sweet. I got him a Sonic gift card, so he could have those crazy blue coconut flavored shakes that he loves. Very simple, but it made me happy.

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!  

 

Normally, I hate Valentine’s. It always seemed like all the couples around me were rubbing it in. HA HA HA , you are alone and I have someone. Na na na na boo boo!   But this year, I get to be the one rubbing it in, because this year I have Tony. And he is dreamy. Hee hee  I even managed to find a card that said he was dreamy. He will laugh at that one. We have no big plans, just to hang out together. And that is fine with me.  I am a happy girl today!

 

In other news, I had a dream that I was checking for referrals on line over at RQ and I kept checking and checking to see if the next batch came out yet and if it went to Oct 25^th or 27^th. I think it is a sure sign that I check that website WAY too much if I’m dreaming about looking for referral news. Time to take a break. (I’ve only looked at the site once today, so I mean from now on. Really!)    

 

 

 

30 weeks!!

I am such a nerd. I admit that whole-heartedly.   I have made this lovely spreadsheet that outlines things I need to purchase and do before Emily gets home, in order to be ready. I love spreadsheets. They make me happy.   It is part of my New Year’s Resolution, to do one thing a week until she gets here. I took a few weeks off while I was sick in January, but I seem to be catching up ok. The thing is, I was reviewing my list today. I have way more to do then weeks left to do it.  There are about 30 weekends between now and mid July, about the time when I think I’ll get my referral. After all this time waiting and doing NOTHING because it made me sad, I want to kick myself in the head. (that would be hard to manage I realize) What a waste of time I let myself have!!   I have so much to do still and so much to get! I’ve spent the last 2 years collecting baby clothes and toys and books. And that is all fine and well. She has an amazing closet. But you know what she NEEDS?  She needs a crib! And diapers and formula, and bottles and nipples and junk! I know I won’t really know what size she is until later, so I can’t buy too many diapers. And I don’t want to buy formula until after I get to China and see what she is drinking there.  I get it, but still.  I have a few bottles, and I have a few diapers. But I don’t have the tons I’ll need. I probably need sippy cups too, because what if she is too big for a bottle??   And I’m imagining that at one of these baby showers, some one will show up with diapers. People do that, right?  So I just need to calm down.  It’s just all of a sudden; I’m a little freaking out here. Not much, just enough to get me motivated I think.  For those of you that have BTDT, did this happen to you? Can you go through “nesting” without actually being pregnant? I thought all that was just hormonal. My hormones are fine. Well…are they? Can you fake out your hormones?  Good grief. Look what I’m turning into! A neurotic nesting nerd!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Deep breaths. Where is the chocolate? I’ll be fine. I just need some chocolate. And maybe no more coffee for me today!

 

 

Books for Emily

It occured to me after my last post that I've bought a TON of books in regards to this adoption. So, I've decided to make a list and then ask y'all for recommendations on anything that I might have missed that is a must have. Here are the books I've gotten for Emily so far. (keep in mind, these are only the ones relating to adoption, I've bought other things as well)

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes
An Mei's Strange and Wonderous Journey
The Red Blanket
Mommy Far, Mommy Near
Happy Adoption Day


and en route to me from Amazon, Families are Forever.


On my wish list to get is, Kids Like Me in China, Shoey & Dot and Ruby's Wish (i think that's what it's called) So let's hear it folks. Anything that I'm missing?

Adopting a Daughter from China

Adopting a Daughter from China was the name of the seminar that Tony & I went to last night.  We had a little trouble getting there, Greenville is about 1.5 hrs from here, but there was a pretty bad accident on the highway that slowed us down. And then once we got there, the room on my registration form said one thing, but really they had moved the class to a different building and floor.  There were no signs or anything saying that they had moved it, so that kind of ticked me off. But oh well, we got there, and we were only maybe 15 mins late, so I don’t think we missed hardly anything.

 

The lady that did the seminar is Denise Hoppenhauer.  She was nice. I thought a little strange, but nice strange. She wrote this book Adopting a Daughter from China  and the seminar was based on that book. She went over transracial families, preparing a nursery for a toddler, things to buy, the actual trip to China, grief & loss in your child. Some good stuff. Although, to be honest, I had read about or heard about almost everything that she went over. She did talk about picking a pediatrician, and I though that was pretty worthwhile to hear.  Everything else was kind of reminders for me of stuff I already knew about.  But it was good for Tony to take, because he hasn’t done the reading that I have or you know, spent time with a social worker or FCC folks or any of that stuff. So, I’m really glad that we went.   On the way home I was thinking, man I am just so READY for her to come home. I’ve done all my homework, read all the books, yadda, yadda, yadda. Which is probably a sure sign that parenthood will knock me on my butt!!   I mean, how can you ever really truly be READY?

 

Anyway, that was the seminar. I ordered the book this morning from Amazon, so I’ll let you know in a few weeks if it was worth it or not. I know you are all dying for my book review!

 

In other news, this weekend I’m going to Lowes to buy a few things for my house. My very handy brother in law is coming next weekend to help me do all the home improvement projects I can’t handle. Basically, I can change a light bulb. Other than that, I require professional help! Thank the Lord that Kevin is part of our family now, because I have quite the list of ceiling fans to be installed, mirrors hung and blinds put up.  In my next life, I want to be able to work with tools and not be terrified of losing a finger or electrocuting myself!!   

 

Hope everyone is enjoying their Friday. Later guys!

 

 

 

 

14 Months Since LID

Today makes 14 months since I was LID. OK…moving on. I’m going to an adoption seminar tonight in Greenville, SC. I’m looking forward to it. Should be good stuff on attachment issues and what to expect while in China. Since my own agency does none of that, I’m glad that I found something. I hope that I feel that way AFTER the seminar as well. Heh.

 

 

Just Call me Cheery Cherry

A co-worker said the nicest thing about me yesterday. She comes up to me while I’m in the break room making tea for myself and says “ I have a confession to make”  I’m immediately think, oh Lord, what on earth is this woman going to tell me? But then she says that she never wants to call me Shannon, she wants to call me Cherry.  Why on earth? Because my hair is red, and I’m always so cheerful and smiling and whenever I get to laughing, my whole face turns pink and it’s just so cute and I look like a Cherry. Ok then. Since all that stuff is so sweet, what am I going to do? So now, you can just call me Cherry. I never had a nickname before! I’m so excited!

 

Social Worker Visit Complete

My social worker came to see me this morning to do my home study update.  I spent all weekend cleaning the house. It looks really good, although I’ll be honest; it’s not anywhere near as clean as it was for my FIRST home study visit! I was psychotic about the cleaning that time. This go round, I just stuffed a lot of stuff in closets.  Anyway, she came out and didn’t even go upstairs, so I guess my version of clean was clean enough. Heh heh heh.  She did the update, which basically consisted of reading through my original home study and updating everything. For example, I’m now 32, not 30. And I have a new job title. And my sister isn’t expecting anymore, she has a 17 month old son. It’s weird to review your life like that, to see how much really has changed in the last couple years.  Like, she read my statement on discipline and raising children to me. I still feel the same way about all that stuff, it’s just odd to go, I said what? Oh ya, that sounds like me!  Sure I believe in consequences and age appropriate decision making!  And I’ve read a ton of books about adoption and attachment and bonding since then, and I still feel pretty much the same way, so I guess that is all good.

 

I’m glad that this part is over. I have a few more documents to collect, but I should be completely done by the end of next week with Paper Chasing Round 2.  Thank the Lord!

 

The next few weeks are going to be very adoption centered for me. First, there is the paper chasing. Second, on Thursday I’m going to a seminar in Greenville on attachment and bonding and adopting from China. One of the ladies in my single moms group found out about this, so a group of us are going together.  Then on Feb 25, Tony and I are going to adoption workshop in Chapel Hill about Becoming a Family, the first month home.  You should check out the link, because this agency has several workshops in the upcoming months and I’ve heard good things about them from both my social work and my adoption agency.  I’ll let you know if I think it is any good. I’ve had some trouble finding adoption seminars/workshops in the Charlotte area so I’m really hoping that this one works out, since Chapel Hill is only a couple hours from here.

 

So that’s it from me. The adoption is coming more into focus as we get closer to the end. I love saying that, closer to the end. It’s about time, no?  

 

 

 

 

Woah!

Referrals started to arrive yesterday. We are officially through Oct 13. I did some adoption math today and suddenly there are only 56 days of LIDs in front of me.  Which isn’t very much at all!  If they average about 13 days a month than there are only 4.3 months of referrals left before I finally get Emily’s referral. If they do more than it could be less time to wait than that. Suddenly, I am freaking out. 4 MONTHS?! or even 5 months! It’s not that much longer to wait. I have so much to do! I’ve been putting off the nursery because it just seemed so far away. And it still is, but not that far away. Not ridiculously far away. I’ve got to get on the ball here.

 

So the big clean up starts this weekend. Part of it is that I have to clean up for the home study update which is next Tuesday. And part of it is that I’m suddenly motivated to get my house ship shape. It is time to throw out all the crap I’ve been collecting for the last 10 years that I’ve never used. Out, out, out!  I want to get down to the bare bones! No more clutter!  I am feeling the incredible urge to nest or something. I have no idea where this came from, but I hope it lasts. (at least through the weekend!)

 

This weekend won’t be all work. One of my birthday presents from Tony was a Swedish massage at a local spa. I’m scheduled to do that tomorrow, while he is en route to Miami for the Super Bowl. And then, I’m going to join Shannon 2 for lunch. It will be a fun time. So that will break up my cleaning frenzy somewhat!  I have no plans for the Super Bowl myself, other to see if I can spot Tony on TV. I’m not a big football fan (although I’m starting to come around) so usually I watch the game just for the fun commercials. And then I catch a movie on another station. I know right now Tony, my sister, my dad, and my friends Jeff & Jill are rolling their eyes in exasperation. But hey, you gotta love how excited I get about the commercials! Go ads! Go! 

 

OK. Enough from me. It’s Friday and I hope everyone is enjoying their day!  

 

 

Happy Day!

Referrals came in today! Happy dance! I love referral days because I love to look at all the cute kiddos. It definitely helps ease some of the waiting time for me.

Today was also a happy day because today they announced that the next Harry Potter book "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" is due to hit shelves July 21, 2007. WOO HOO! I am a total Harry addict and I've been dying to find out what happens to Harry, Ron, Hermione & Hagrid in the last installment. I'm already plotting a Harry Potter Party. (yes, I am a dork. I'm fine with it!) So, I've added a new countdown to my blog, days until Harry! Yippee!! It looks like July will be a big month for me, as not only will there be Harry to read, but I'm hoping to get my referral then as well.

In other news, it snowed here today, the first snow of the season. Pretty much everything shut down, but I had to go into work. Luckily, I have a cool boss, and he told me to get out of there early today, so it wasn't too bad.

That's it for today. Congrats to all the families out there who are seeing their babies for the first time today. I'm so excited for all of you!