The Proposal

Thanks for all your congrats and well wishes. I can’t even begin to explain how excited we are!  Tony is a super guy, and he can always get me to laugh, even if I am having the crummiest of days. It is a real gift, and I consider myself to be especially blessed that he is now a part of my life. My face hurts I’ve smiled so much this weekend!! HA HA HA   My parents and sister are also very happy, they like Tony a lot. He fits in with our family really well. And his parents seem pretty excited too. Along with all his sisters and brother. I had a lot of fun making phone calls and showing off my ring the last few days!!

 

So, since you all are dying for the details (and who can blame you really) here goes. He proposed at dinner. We went to a really nice steak house on Thursday night. He tricked me by saying he wasn’t feeling too well (he has Crone’s) and that he had to run to the car for some meds. This happens all the time, so I didn’t think much about it. But what he was really doing was giving the ring to our waitress. When dessert came, she brought two plates, one plate was dessert and one plate was a little gold box. My hands started shaking. I was expecting to cry, but not for my hands to shake. So he got down on one knee (sooo cool) and asked me to marry him! And of course I said YES!!! It was really nice. And then all the waitresses came over to see the ring. The place we went had a lot of elderly patrons that night, so I’m not sure that they really noticed what was going on. But that’s ok. I wouldn’t have wanted a big thing in front of thousands of people anyways.  I told him months and months ago that if he proposed on a mega-tron at a sporting event I would punch him right there in front of crowds of thousands. Good thing he listened, no?  HA HA HA

 

Anyways, that’s the story.  Tony would add in that I had to pencil him in to get engaged. I didn’t know! He kept saying he wanted to go to this restaurant for dinner, but I didn’t know that was why, I just thought he wanted a steak! So he’d been bugging me since Sunday to go, but I had, you know, plans. We couldn’t go Tues because I had made plans with my friend May. We couldn’t go Wed, because I was getting my hair done. So Thursday it was!  But it’s cool, it’s not a holiday, or my birthday or anything, it was just a just because day.

 

I’m so freaking happy. Every body should get engaged at least once. It’s so much fun!!

 

 

 

 

I said YES.

And I haven't stopped smiling since.

Better, but still...

Here is the deal with yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, I'm at work doing my thing. I get an email from my adoption agency. It's time to plan our travel meeting! For months and months now, they have told us that the travel meeting happens 2-4 weeks before referral. So, I'm confused by this, but I think they are just planning ahead. Not so. I read the whole email and basically it says that they believe August batch of referrals will include several WEEKS worth of LIDs and that we should get a referral in Sept. There was also a note in there that of course these are just guesses and no one knows. (I didn't see that line until later after I had a hissy fit) Keep in mind, I have an LID of Dec 8, 2005 and also keep in mind that I am a numbers person, and I KNOW that the CCAA hasn't matched anything close to several WEEKS at a time in the last 7 months worth of referrals. Even then, they only did 18 days, so...that's really only 2.5 weeks, but whose counting.

ANYWAYS, for a variety of reasons, this has ticked me off immensely. I don't think that my agency knows anything at all about what is going to happen in this next referral batch and to be able to predict out 2 batches is ridiculous. We don't even know WHEN this next batch is coming, how can they possibly know what is in it? Furthermore, it is unbelieveably insensitive to put out a month when you *hope* referrals are coming for someone with my LID because we have waited so unbelievablly long. For my agency, of all people, to not understand that we adoptive parents to be hang on their every word, it's just incomprehesible. So to ME, to put out a month and get every one all jazzed up about when their referrals are coming (after we have waited about 20 months when we were told 6-8) is just wrong. It's morally reprehensible. To be blunt, I was LIVID.
After I calmed down a bit (thanks to Mom and Tony) I emailed them back and was VERY nice and said, hey, I'm confused about why you think we would get a referral in Sept. If you have info on why you think Aug would include several weeks worth of LIDs, please share! I even said that I was only expecting 6 or7 days worth (and honestly 7 days seems a bit optimistic to me, although I didn't say that in the email) since that is what they have done the last few months. And they wrote me back.

Are you ready for what they told me?

Really ready?

OK..here goes " OH, I heard a rumor that Aug batch would be big" ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?! YOU heard a rumor?! That is not my agency's job to hear rumors and pass them on to us as probabilities. I go to RQ for rumors. I have my fill of rumors thank you very much. I hear all the things that go on there, I do my adoption math and I live in a very happy place called REALITY. The nerve of my agency saying that they heard a rumor and then passing it on to us, so nonchalant, so uncaring that we are litterally stopping our lives, holding out for this kind of news makes me angrier than I have been this entire adoption. I have been patient beyond my understanding of what patience is. I have done every stupid thing that was asked of me including going down to be fingerprinted TWICE. (which still irks me) I do not need, or expect, that my agency would be jerking me and my feelings around after all this time.

The email went on to say that they will just wait until the Aug batch comes in, see how far it goes and then make a plan from there. Fine. Whatever. But in my heart I'm thinking, if you really really thought we were getting a referral in Sept, you would have pushed this meeting more.

So that's it. It's not huge. I am letting it be. When I have my Emily home, I will do what I feel is best to do regarding my agency. Until then, I'm going to vent on here, and put on a happy face. For all I know, they could be fabulous at the trip to China part. I only halfway know them and what they do. Perhaps too, the wait is getting to me enough that I'm finally actually losing my mind. But I don't think so. I think that they are thoughtless and insensitive buttheads. But I digress. The other part of me understands that perhaps having the travel meeting a few months earlier than I expected is not a bad thing. I think it just rubbed me wrong. I have been burned a lot during this journey, and I am overly sensitive. It is hard to constantly re-adjust your expectations. But in the end it will be worth. Because I will have my little girl, and that's what I want.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I’ve had a supremely crappy afternoon. I want to smack my adoption agency in the head. Repeatedly. Preferably with a large boxing glove on.  BAM! BAM! BAM!

 

Pray that I don’t kill anyone.   I’ll fill everyone in when I’ve calmed down some.   It’s not horrific. I’m just really mad.

 

GRRRRRRR!

 

 

 

 

Owie

I got two vaccinations yesterday for my upcoming trip to China. I got the first shot of Hep A, and a tetanus shot. I already have the complete Hep B series, because I work at a place where there is possible exposure to “blood born pathogens”.  In other words, I work around cooties all day. The Hep B wasn’t mandatory, but let’s say it was strongly encouraged. I took them up on it. I don’t want no stinking cooties.  To be sure it stuck, I had a titer drawn a few months ago. I’m showing the antibodies, so I’m good to go there.

 

So today, my arm is sore (from the tetanus) but it will be worth it. I am notoriously clumsy, forever tripping over things. I’ve broken most of my toes; some of them a few different times. And I’m just not going to take any chances. There may be one lone, loose, rusty nail on the Great Wall of China, and undoubtedly, I will step on it.  Even though the whole thing is made out of stones, I’ll find the one nail. That’s my luck.  So, I figured, what the hey, let’s just get it while I’m in there getting poked anyways.

 

So, I’m doing some things to get ready. Because I am going to China. Within the next 6 months or so even. OOOH AHHH. Now I just have to wait for the next batch of referrals. Come on CCAA. Match like crazy!

 

 

 

Harry Potter Party

We started the night with some drinks. This is me and Jody having some fun Margaritas!



Then we went to B&N and got some glow in the dark Harry Potter Glasses. OOOH AHH. Me, Jody & Melissa model them.

One of the cooler grown-ups in a Professor McGonagall costume. It was the best one I saw all night.
A girl in her home made "threstral" costume. Was a bit awkward walking around the store in, but a cool idea, none the less.

Harry Review

I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Saturday night around 6pm.  It was awesome, awesome, awesome.  I don’t want to ruin the book for anyone who is still reading, so I’m not going to say anything, except that this book was not like the other books. It was great, but it was different, and it definitely is not a children’s book. The book is littered with murders. There are way more than 2 main characters that die. But like I said, I don’t want to ruin it.  But I loved it. And I am very very sad that there will be no more Harry stories to read.  I spent most of the weekend kind of…bleh. Sad and depressed.

 

The B&N party was a disaster. I was really disappointed. It was completely unorganized, and they kicked us out of the store at 11pm, so they could group us together. Only there were about 3000 people there, so no one could hear what they were trying to do. It was horrible. We were all just standing around outside looking at each other.   Once it turned midnight, and they started letting people in the store, it was a lot more organized. Checking out didn’t take any time at all. But the whole hour before hand, well it was just stupid.  I did take pictures, which I will post up tonight.   I got home around 1245 and I read to about 230am. Then I went to sleep. I read the rest on Saturday.  I am now doing a re-read, because I was so nervous while I was reading it the first time, I think I may have missed some of the finer details.

 

OK..that’s it. It’s Monday. No more Harry. Pictures to come tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

HARRY FRIDAY!

YAY!! IT’S HERE! It’s time to get my Harry Potter Book at last!!  Tonight is THE night. I’m having a couple of girlfriends over, and we are going to hang out, chat about the book and then go to Barnes & Noble and participate in all the craziness and get in line to get the book right after midnight. I will definitely be taking pictures to share with you guys of all the fun stuff that happens. YAY HARRY!!!

 

And other crazy news, is over at RQ the rumors are getting insane. Don’t believe me, check it out for yourself. There are agencies actually telling their folks that the next batch of referrals, which should come in about 2 weeks, will go from Nov 16 through the Dec 1. I am really REALLY trying to not get too excited about this. In the past, the rumors that come this early don’t usually pan out.  But to finally FINALLY see the word December in any of the rumors at all, that is just soo soo cool. It’s hard not to be a little hopeful.   I can’t see me getting much accomplished today. I’ve got Harry and Emily on the brain!!

 

Happy Friday y’all!

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Ya'll

I suddenly have a million things to write about. So excuse the bullets.

 

1. Only one night left until Harry Potter YAY!
2. I was sick as a dog last night. I think it was because I ate some left overs that were a little past their prime. UGH.  It was miserable. I’m tired today, but I feel a lot better.
3. I’ve heard that Beijing in the winter is cold, cold, cold.  Any ‘been there done that’ that can confirm this? I’m trying to justify purchasing these new crocs which Shanny turned me on too. I love my Crocs, and these look so warm and snuggly. Like wearing mittens on your feet. What do you think?
4. Last week, Tony & I went to a SPAFA meeting. SPAFA is a group of adoptive families in my area of the country. It was really good. They talked about international travel to adopt, and things to bring and what to go over with your doctor & stuff. One of the gals in my single parent’s group told me about it. It was really great, and I’m definitely planning on going again.
5. Did I mention that Harry comes out TOMORROW?
6. I seem to be going through an adoption on the brain moment. It’s not all I think about, but I do think about it a lot.  Last night, while I was moaning in agony, clutching my stomach, I was also thinking about the plane ride to China. So, ok, maybe I am a little obsessed right now. I’m sure once referrals come out, I’ll be smacked into reality a little longer.
7. There are super positive early rumors this month that referrals will go into early Dec. I ain’t buying it.  I’m sticking with my Nov 21 prediction. We’ll see.

 

 

OK …that’s the sum up for right now.

 

 

 

Don't Tell Me!!!

Some idiot meanie on the internet has released the ending of the new Harry Potter book.

 

I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS!!!

 

Therefore, I have made the decision to not listen to the radio or watch the news until after I get the book. And sadly, I won’t be reading any of your blogs. You all seem like nice enough folks, but I’m just not going to take the chance.  One of you, and you might not even know it yet, but you might be one of those people that just love to be the first to tell people something.  Certainly, I have been like that in the past, especially if it was about a fave product of mine or something. I just want to share with the world!!  So…no more blog reading for me, until after I’m done with the book.

 

Yes, I know I sound like a nutcase. But I’ve really been looking forward to this for years now, and in light of the fact that I thought I would miss this Harry moment because I was SUPPOSED TO BE IN CHINA BY NOW, I really want to be able to enjoy this weekend, and not have it spoiled by some joker butthead.

 

So, that’s it from me.   Oh, and I was going to wait until Friday, but here are MY Harry predicitions:

 

1.Snape IS evil, but he will die in a heroic manner saving either Harry or Neville.  (he will have a change of heart that’s my guess)

2. Dumbledore really is dead, but he can talk to Harry through his portrait hanging in the headmaster’s office.

3. One of the Weasley’s dies. I vote for Percy.  But only after he makes up with his mom.

4. I’m not convinced that Harry can destroy all the horcruxes. It seems that when they were getting the last one, it just about killed Dumbledore, and Harry really had no idea what was going on, he was just following orders.  I’m hoping that either Dumbledore left behind some sort of instructions, or that he finds someone else (like Lupin) that could help him out. Although I think Hermione will be a big help with this as well.

5.  Harry kills Voldemort but he doesn’t die himself.

 

 

Strange Dreams

Saturday night I had the strangest adoption dream. I was finally going to get Emily. I was ready. I walked into a room that looked like a school cafeteria, you know that ugly green wall color they have in schools? And it was filled with little children tables. Sitting at one table was a boy, around 9 years old.  And a lady was like, here he is, YOUR SON! And I was so happy!  And I looked at him and said, but he’s not from China? And she said, oh no, he’s Vietnamese. And I was like ok, cool. (???) Oh and he’ll need brain surgery too. Ok Fine with me!!  Then I saw he was playing with the cutest Hispanic girl. She had shoulder length curly brown hair. And I was like, oh she is adorable, doesn’t anyone else want her? And they were like, hey you can have her too, for just $2000 more. And I was all, SURE, that sounds great. So now I’m adopting a 9 year old Vietnamese boy who needs brain surgery, and a 5 or 6 year old Guatemalan girl. (I don’t know how I know that, but I did). On the way out the door they handed me a 2 year old Chinese girl, who was Emily.  I put them all on a bus, where they promptly turned into blonde teenagers on their i-pods.  The ride home I was thinking, but I don’t have CLOTHES for a 9 year old boy!  Apparently, I was fine with the brain surgery though.

 

We had tacos for dinner Sat night, so maybe that is where these weirdo dreams are coming from.  But I think I thought I was getting a deal, 3 kids at the same time in the same trip even! So, so strange.  Anyone else having weird adoption dreams?

 

 

 

 

UGH! or I Hate Adoption Math

Every time I think I’m going to help myself out by doing some sort of “adoption” math, I end up wishing I had just left my head stuck in the sand.  I contacted my agency this morning about getting a new list of fees for the remainder of what I have to pay for the adoption (ie what do I have to pay once I get that referral) The fee list I had was from January 2005, so since it was a couple years old, I figured it wasn’t good anymore.  After receiving it back and going over everything it seems that I still have to pay an ungodly amount of money to finish this adoption. UNGODLY.  Compared to what the fees were 2 years ago, it’s up several thousand dollars. Mostly in airfare/hotel prices etc.  Even if (and it’s a big if) I can get part of the airfare covered with frequent flier miles, it still is a ridiculous amount of money, given that I’ve already paid like 10 thousand.

 

I have to admit it. Right now I’m ready to throw in the towel.  I’m 23 LID days away from referral, and I still have a 3 to 5 month window of when I could get the darn thing! Anywhere from October to Jan is totally possible. The wait has been really hard, and now all the fees for everything are increasing (my agency fee went up $1250. Thank the lord I’m done paying that bit!!) I’m just so done with this. It’s not fair! I didn’t sign up to wait this freaking long! I didn’t sign up to pay this much! Its bad enough I had to pay to re-do basically all my paperwork.

 

I really dislike the China adoption people now. They are making my life extremely stressful.  They have absolutely no consideration at all for those of us who are waiting. I’m supposed to put my whole freaking life on hold for YEARS, and they can do or say whatever they want and I’m just supposed to take it.

 

I’m very cranky.  I want to go home and crawl into bed and wake up in 3 months. At least then part of this stupid wait would be over.

 

 

The really bad part is that until I started doing the math bit, I was in a really good mood. I had a nice weekend, and I’m still all excited about the Harry book coming out on Friday night.   I just have to get over this stuff.  I think chocolate might help ease the pain. A bit. ha ha ha

 

 

 

Harry Review

If you are not a Harry fan, you’ll probably want to skip this post. Everyone else, tune in for my Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix review!    (I won’t ruin it, I promise.)   First off, I have to say this was a great movie experience.  The theater was totally sold out, and for the record, there were way more adults there than children.  I got to eat my popcorn/Reese’s Pieces combo, which I love, so that was also a big perk.   Just after all the previews, but before the movie started, the lights got all dark. Me, being me, shouted YAY! at a time when the theater happened to be very quiet. Which of course made everyone laugh.  But then the movie did start and everyone started clapping, so I didn’t feel so bad. Everyone was sooo excited. You could feel it. 

 

The movie itself was really great. I was a bit concerned going in, because the 5^th book is humongous. I was worried they were going to leave out major chunks of the story and ruin it. If you are a book person, like I am, the movie is never, ever as good as the book. But this was pretty close. Yes, they did leave some stuff out, but the majority of the story was in there, it was just condensed. I think they did a really good job of conveying how angry and alone Harry felt the majority of the story.  I have to say that the fight scene at the end, while pretty good, was not as long, or interesting as it is in the book. I mean, it gets the point across, but the book could (obviously) spend more time on it, on how the kids really defended themselves fairly well.  Also, there were no flying brains, and that was disappointing, because I kind of thought that would be cool. And I really wanted to see that death eater guy’s head turn into a baby and grow and shrink over and over. But that was left out as well. HOWEVER, the death eaters did have these super creepy masks, and the way they sort of turned into smoke and moved was pretty good, so I’ll let the no flying brains thing go. ha ha.   More than making up for that is the fact that both Harry and Malfoy have turned into total hotties. Jill (you must get your own blog girl!) assures me it is not creepy to think Harry is hot because he will be 18 in just 2 weeks. But I don’t know. Jody and I both felt kind of creepy old man-ish. But, dude, he has like abs and junk. What’s a girl to do?!?

 

 

Overall, I have to give this movie 2 thumbs up to folks who are already familiar with the story. If you have not read book 5 yet (and why on earth would that be?) I think you might get a bit lost in the movie. They don’t give any background info at all, there are a ton of things going on, and lots of new characters. If I just sat down to watch the movie, I think I would get lost. Maybe not, maybe I just know so much of what is going on, sort of behind the scenes, it is hard to distinguish what I know with what a new person would see.

 

So now, there are only 8 days left until I get my hands on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I’m soooo excited. YAY HARRY!

 

 

Recap

My sister, BIL and favorite nephew Colin came to visit me this past weekend. We had a really good time!  Colin, as you can see below, is getting to be such a big boy. He talks non-stop, he runs, plays, giggles. I just love that little guy!  We brought him to the pool and he grand ol’ time floating around in his water wings. Heh.  And you know what he says that cracks me up the most? If he falls down or runs into something or gets water in his face he says WOAHHHHHHHH in his little baby voice. It’s so funny!

 

TONIGHT is the opening of the Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix Movie. I’m going with a group of friends (hi JILL!!)  so it should be a lot of fun. This movie looks really good, and I can’t wait to see the whole thing, especially the big fight scene at the end. Plus, I fully intend to have movie theater popcorn and mms as dinner tonight. YUM. (soo soo bad for me, but soo soo good for my tummy!)   So I have the movie tonight, but next weekend is the Harry Potter book 7 release and my Harry Potter Party!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!  I’m so darn excited. I already told anyone who would care, not to even bother talking to me next Sat, because I will be reading my HP book.   I’m such a dork, but I love it.

 

So that’s all that is going on in my little world. Oh wait, one more thing:  this past Sunday marked 19 months LID.  Hopefully, I am approaching the end of this infernal wait.  Luckily, at least for the next few weeks, I’ll have Harry to keep my brain occupied!

 

 

 

 

 

Colin the Big Boy!

Here's my little nephew. He looks like he is trying to make muscles, but really he is just being silly!




Look at how curly his hair is!

Yay

First off it is Friday. YAY YAY!!

Secondly, my favorite nephew is coming to see me today. YAY! YAY! YAY!

Thirdly  it’s only 2 weeks left until my beloved Harry Potter book comes out!! YAY YAY YAY YAY!!

Fourthly (is that a word?)  You bloggy peeps rock. I’m totally going to check out all these places you recommended. I’ll let you know what we decide. Oooh ahhhh

 

 

Also,  pop on over to shanny  She just had major surgery, poor thing, so go over and say Get well soon! 

 

 

 

 

Mini Holiday

T is telling me that we should do one last hurrah before Em comes home. Just a mini-holiday, a 4 day weekend to get away. There are sooo many choices to pick from. Can you guys recommend any really cool places to go? I’m thinking continental US, but if you know of someplace SUPER in say, Cancun, we would probably look at that as well.  So, bring it on! Your best vacation spot ever!!  I’m dying to know!

Oh Well

It appears that the Nov 14, 2005 cutoff rumor is no longer a rumor, but a definite fact.  And the new releases (as Mom would say!) are on their way to all sorts of happy families right now. That is good!! I imagine when it is does actually get to be my turn, I will be a nervous wreck. I might even take a couple days off work, because goodness knows, I won’t actually be working  or, you know, breathing in and out!! HA HA HA 

 

So let’s see my predictions for July referrals were that they would go to Nov 11. I am happy to say I was wrong, wrong, wrong!!   So now I’m going to revise my predictions. Here is what I’m thinking is up next.

 

Referral Comes           DATES

Aug                             Nov 15-21, 2005

September                 Nov 22- 28

October                      Nov 29- Dec 6

November                  Dec 7 – 13

 

 

So I guess that isn’t too bad. I would get a referral in November.  Hopefully, I am not here next month with something else to push me back even further!   The good news is that there are officially only 23 days left to get to my date!! YAY!! Less than a month!!

 

 

 

And on a completely different topic, like 50 people viewed my post on GW being a dope. Not ONE of you replied.  I can’t believe that. All of you are Republicans? REALLY?   Or maybe you agree with me, but don’t want to get hate mail. Although to be honest, I didn’t get any hate mail.  Or maybe you just come here for the adoption stuff. That’s probably it. You probably just don’t want to be all political & junk.  OK OK. I get the hint. Stick with the adoption stuff!!

 

 

 

Our President

George Bush is an idiot. There. I said it. I’ve been thinking it for years and years, and I am stunned and amazed that more people do not share this viewpoint.  I don’t want to get too political, but I just couldn’t take it anymore.

 

This is America. It is a Democracy. Our founding fathers (and mothers, I will not leave women out of their role in our nation’s independence) did not intend for this country to become Bush Incorporated. Thomas Jefferson would roll around in his grave right now if he could see what this dope is doing.   It makes me so mad!! I’m off to yell at senators and such. I mean, good golly, we PAY these people. Did you know that? They work for you and me!! They should be like hired hands, and do what we ask them to do, not whatever the heck they want to do!  Spending our money left, right and center on what?!

 

Happy 4^th of July peeps. I’m forever grateful that I live in a country where bashing the president is not only acceptable, but recommended! 

 

 

Slacker

I haven’t felt much like blogging lately. I’m still alive and junk, just sort of writer’s block I guess.   Today there are rumors that referrals have been mailed and that they cover Nov 8-14.  They are still only rumors, but usually by now, they are pretty much on target. You will remember that I did some of my own guesses last month after the new releases came.  Here is what I guessed.

 

July     Nov 8-11   

Aug     Nov 12-20

Sep    Nov 21-24

Oct    Nov 25- Dec 4

Nov   Dec 5 -9

 

So they did (or appear to have done) more than I expected.  I’m still a little bummed though. (but not anywhere near as bad as last month)   It seems to me that I will still get a referral in Dec. which means another Christmas without a child for me. I don’t know why Christmas is such a big deal. I’ve done every other holiday this year without her, and kicking myself because LAST YEAR I thought, oh this will be the last such & such without Emily, only to find out nope, you were wrong. Here you are at such & such still with no baby.   It is hard to explain. It’s not that I’m unhappy right now. On the contrary, I’m enjoying life immensely. I’m not sitting at home, mooning about not having a baby. But still. It just is starting to feel very surreal right now. I never really thought I would wait this long.    I KNOW that friends of mine have started to think that I am making up this whole adoption thing. Either that, or that I was really denied or something, but just haven’t told anyone yet.  Or worse yet, I have so called friends who have made it clear that I’m being an idiot for waiting this long, especially for a child that “for all you know hasn’t been born yet”.  While that angers me, I guess I can see their point.  I still go by my gut telling me that MY child is in China, but goodness knows, maybe if I was just on the outside of this, I would be thinking the same thing.   Well…no I wouldn’t. I’m not that kind of a person. If someone else was doing this, I certainly wouldn’t imply (or outright say) that I think they were being stupid for doing this, for waiting this long. I would wonder about the toll it would be taking on them, but I don’t think I would actually say something to someone. I’m pretty much live & let live.  If they were HURTING themselves because it was taking so long, or they were like locking themselves up at home, crying all the time, I would say something. But otherwise, I would butt out. 

 

 I’m fine. Really, I am. I see my family often, work is keeping me really busy, and I have Tony around for entertainment. (hee hee) So, while I’m not moping, per se, I just kind of don’t get it. I don’t get why I have to go through a whole additional year of thinking, oh next year beach vacation will be awesome because Emily will be there. Next year, blah blah blah.  I’m … I don’t know what I am.  I’m too tired to be angry. I’m so over being frustrated.  I think maybe I’m just bewildered. Like, how did this happen?  I’m still living my life, doing my thing for sure, but, it’s not how I planned it would be.  Ahh…the best laid plans, right?

 

 

So much for writer’s block. I’ve written a ton here!!!   Off to do some other stuff….see, I’m keeping busy!!!